Young Hung Stud Seeks Same
The Myths Behind the Wanton Ads
In the beginning, there was Cock. And Cock said: "Let there
be Fuck!" But Cock was all alone. So Cock sat brooding over
the abyss until He brought forth the Los Angeles
Advocate, "The Newspaper of
America's Homophile Community." And then He placed a
Young cattle baron requires hardy heavy hand for sweaty chores,
barn discipline, to be corraled and trained to the whip &
bridal. Rack available for stubborn, arrogant, or unruly Ms who
are slow or sluggish. Three categories of service available:
full-time modern day slavery, all needs provided for; part-time
weekend work; or one-night only. Seek experienced Ms for service
business. Write to: Jerome.
Cock's message from on high inspired great envy in the Devil. So
he jealously placed his own ad:
LOOK NO MORE!
This is the ad you've been waiting for! W/M, lthr trnd, frgl slv
mvng East. Sks yng, musclr, clean, w/e, sincr, responsbe,
undrstndng. W/S, B&D expt, lt S/M if necs. No inhbtns. Needs
someone to serve & obey. Can hlp w hshld expens. No frks,
fats, fems, drgs, drnks, leeches. Pls write instrctn to: Neal.
For those not yet initiated into the mysterious language of the
Old Testicle, I provide a translation of this rubric:
This is the ad you have been waiting for! White male, leather
trained, fragile slave moving East. Seeks young, muscular,
circumcised, well endowed, sincere, responsible, understanding.
Water sports, bondage and discipline expected, light
sadomasochism if necessary. No inhibitions. Needs someone to
serve and obey. Can help with household expenses. No freaks,
fats, fems, drugs, drunks, or leeches. Please write instructions
The Devil speaks with a forked tongue, and it is useful to
decipher some of the hieroglyphics in this magical text:
- B&D bondage and discipline
- S/M sadomasochism
- Ms masochists
- w/e; w/end well endowed, well hung
- clean circumcised, clean cut
- Gr act Greek active, i.e. anal
- Gr pas Greek passive, i.e. anal
- Fr act French active, i.e. oral
- Fr pas French passive, i.e. oral
- li S/M light (mild) sadomasochism
- CP corporal punishment
- C/B/T/T cock, ball and tit torture
- W/S water sports, i.e. urinating etc.
- J/O jack off, i.e. masturbation
- FF fist fucking
- Lv's Levi's, including denim
- fone frk phone freak, i.e. dirty talk
- gdlk good looking, i.e. godlike
- LIAHO Let It All Hang Out
How I Learned To Love The Whip
Yea, though I walk through the valley of
bondage and discipline, I will fear no heavy scene, for thou art
with me. Thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. He leadeth me
beside the toilet for his name's sake, and annointest my body
with the scent of leather. And I shall dwell in the game room of
my Lord forever. Amen.
This prayer comes from the hymnal of Southern California's most
fully developed gay religious sect, the S/M Cult. Its major
centers of worship are Hangin' Tree Country Store and A Taste of
Leather, two temples which distribute the magical implements for
the proper ceremonial ritual, which they call "A Trip."
Racks, pillories, stocks, whipping posts, cages & heavy,
clunky, freaky, wood & iron, handcrafted to your design, or
our engineers will build to your exacting requirements. Manual
or hydraulic power. Built by Ms for Ms. Each piece thoroughly
field-tested. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Smaller chapels such as Paean, David, Sovereign, Tantalus, and
Goliath (we can see the mythological roots) specialize in certain
kinds of ritual implements:
Add zest to any scene. Unique Ball Stretcher/Cage, black leather,
adjusts to fit. Subtle.
The vibrator is of course the magic wand of all gay cults. It is
an idol representing the great God of Gods, BIG DICK. Mystic
kabbalistic interpreters of His holy name refrain from saying it
in full, and utter only the letters "B/D" as they kneel
to propitiate his divine wrath.
COCK & BALL HARNESS
Increase your turnover by 20%. Makes you feel like you're
gently being groped. Guaranteed to fit. Adds inches to your sex
Padded jaws, leather loops for weights. Attach anywhere.
Seven inches from base to tip of head. Shaft is four inches
round. Uses two "C" cell batteries.
The leather idolator's legendary Hero is Hercules, ritual bearer
of the Big Club and the Lion Skin. This totem-skin is the origin
of all leather, the priestly vestment which all leather acolytes
must wear while paying homage to their deity. The High Priest of
this cult is Rev. Larry Townsend, prophetic author of
The Leatherman's Handbook, otherwise
known as The Bible.
The Order of the Boot
Sometime during the Middle Modern Ages, the Leather Cult
experienced a Great Schism, with the result that there grew up
a Reformation group known as the Levi Cult. The tutelary deity
of this cult is called COWBOY, whose origins are lost in the
obscure mists of the Wild, Wild West. His priesthood worships at
the temple of Colt Studios, the name of which indicates that in
the beginning the animistic natives may have worshipped Cowboy
in the form of a horse. The shepherds in his flock are called
Studs, another indication of the prehistoric agricultural society
in which this cult originated.
The legends about Cowboy are legion. His lasso represents the
archetypal ouraborus, or serpent biting its tail, which
symbolizes the unity of active and passive. Like Mercury with his
winged sandals, Cowboy is said to have accomplished great marvels
with his Magic Boots:
Freak out over loggers, western or heavy motorcycle types? Write
The Levi movement gains new converts every day. Votaries at
Cowboy's altar prefer the rites of B&D to S/M, and they have a
larger pantheon of deities:
Ruged male, 35, 6', 175lbs, wishes to meet construction workers,
lumberjacks, athletes, truckdrivers, servicemen, bodybuilders,
or rugged males for man-to-man relaxation.
The canonical robes of his worshippers are also more varied than
those of the Leather Cult:
Young athlete bodybuilder will supply you with any well used
item: straps, T-shirts, Levi's, dirty, smelly jocks & sox to
groove on after hard and hot workout. Write to: Steve.
The lay brethern in the Levi Cult are seeking to return along the
Mystic Path to their origins in the animal kingdom, especially
by initiating "dirty, sweaty, hairy studs." The
missionaries of this cult actively seek converts from indigious
Stars of Gay Mexico. Danny Au Naturel. Hunky, sensuous, exotic
Handsome nude black & Latin dudes of truly classic
proportions prove that clothes don't make the man.
A Buddy To Bruise Around With
From the Great Schism also emerged a Couter-Reformation movement
emphasizing strict orthodoxy, known as the Cult of Blood
Brothers. Their highest deity is Antaeus, famed for his great
wrestling match with Hercules, at the end of which he recited the
mystic incantation "Winner takes Loser." They wear the
loin-cloth of the mendicant friars, preach a doctrine of
brotherly love, and practice the ancient ritual of Brother-
Battle, part of the kingship ritual of most primitive tribes.
Here is a prayer from their litany:
160lbs, 5'8", wants to meet others who really groove on
grunt 'n' groan for some rugged no-holds-barred mat action. Write
Their archdeacons are the six men on the New York City Wrestling
Team, and one of their mythical Heroes is Charles Atlas.
This cult has two other initiation ceremonies for those who wish
to advance to the level of superior abbot. The first is a rite
of baptism known as W/S or Water Sports, sometimes also called
Toilet Training or Scats Club. The officiant at the rite solemnly
administers an enema to the candidate and then sprinkles him with
urine, exrement, mud and sperm.
TOILET DOG SLAVE
Groovy 24yr toilet dog slave seeks all masters for humil scenes,
W/S, scat, latrine service; all toilet scenes, dog food, force
feeding, etc. The raunchier & dirtier the better. Write to:
Candidates who wish to advance further in the hierarchy must
present their posteriors for a ritual known as "Make All
Deliveries To The Rear."
Saucy stud seeks spanking. Brat, 170lb, avg bld, badly needs
woodshed discipline from muscular buck who can wrestle my pants
off, put me over his knee & hold me there while he blisters
my bottom. Write to: Bob.
The ritual removal of garments of course symbolizes divine
Hot & Horny
There is an obscure sect of wandering monks, somewhat like the
Hermits in the Wilderness, known as the J/O Cult:
LEND A HAND CLUB
Virile always horny stud living in isolated area. Forced to
depend on hand and/or toys. Seeks to correspond with those
interested in comparing J/O technique. Write to: Andy.
They communicate with their far-flung brethren through oracular
correspondence. Many of them are fone
frks who perform a ritual dance at the sound of
their thunder-god, Heavy Breather.
An equally obscure sect, another totem-animal religion, is the
Chicken Cult. Their boy-god Chuck is a younger incarnation of
Butch, one of the Levi Heroes. His mystic number in the prudent
New Testicle is "18+." The priesthood of this cult
frequently go on pilgrimages:
Need experienced companion for discreet but lively chicken tour
of Morocco. Share expenses. Write to: Occupant.
Each initiate into this cult is called Boy Friday.
The most refined of all the gay religious tribes is the Cult of
Orpheus, god of poetry and music. The clerical cassock of this
order consists of a fluffy sweater or ivy-league suit, and the
chapel is called the Hair Dressers. They worship Narcissus:
IS THERE ANOTHER ME?
I have lots to offer as a lover. Interests include classical
music, theatre, and literature. Seek sensitive guy with similar
qualities. Am 35, 6', 170lbs, good bod, endowed, successful and
attractive. Own sensational Victorian mansion and luxury car.
Artistic but masculine. Write to: Philip.
They are forever in search of a Sincere Friend to accompany them
on their mythical Quest for the Opera.
Call Me Anytime
The members of all these cults occasionally have their faith
restored by visits from Sacred Temple Prostitutes. The Ancient
Order of Masseurs was founded by Bishop Clark of "The Clark
System," and their wizardry performs miracles. With the
rhythmic, syncopated strokes of their thaumaturgic hands, they
heal the soul and renew the body.
HAIRY MUSCULAR DUDE
Hot and hunky Larry gives you a modelling session you won't
There are of course other gay cults and rites, but
anthropologists have not yet studied the material fully. The
great Secret of Secrets behind many of these cults seems to
derive from the Asiatic concept of the ecstatic void: The Glory
Hole. There are a variety of alchemists preparing magic potions
such as Athos Anal Lubricant, in magically disposable packets,
and an order of soothsayers practising Twin Mars astrology.
BLACK & BEAUTIFUL
I give the most complete, satisfying body massage in town. Can
you dig a black stud? Call: Richard.
PROFESSIONAL LICENSED MASSEUR
Treat yourself to a complete tune-up: lube job, fuel ejection
system tested, battery recharged, and your hot system cooled with
my special oil emulsions. Master Charge accepted.
The Advocate necessarily does not tell
the complete story, for like many church manuals it has
excommunicated two heretical cults, one ruled by Sapphy, Mother
of the Amazons, and the other ruled by Sissy, Queen of the Drags.
There is also an apocryphal gospel entitled The
Coming Thing, which prophesies that in a lowly
sauna in Bethlehem, Ohio, Our Saviour Mr Right will be born unto
the Virgin Precious, will be entrapped by a false kiss from Jimmy
the Agent Provocateur, will be photographed by Prints Charming,
will be gang-banged by the Chain Gang, and on the third day of
His passion will arise from bed with a halo girding His loins,
whereupon He will forgive us our follies and friendship will rule
Copyright © 1975, 1997 Rictor Norton. All rights reserved.
Reproduction for sale or profit prohibited. This essay may not be
archived, republished or redistributed without the permission of the
CITATION: If you cite this Web page, please use the following citation:
Rictor Norton (Ed.), Young Hung Stud Seeks Same: The Myths Behind the Wanton Ads. 21 Dec. 1999, updated 17 June 2008 <http://rictornorton.co.uk/stud.htm>.